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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

utelaggner

Updated: Feb 20

The Power of Quitting and 5 Signs It May Be Time to Walk Away


Is grit always better than quitting?


Before reading Quit by Annie Duke, I never gave much thought to the skill of knowing when to walk away. Admittedly throughout my life, I’ve been a notoriously bad quitter (though I may have improved with age!).


For example, I spent six years in medical school and many more working as a doctor, despite never truly feeling fulfilled. Quitting never seemed like an option—I felt I had invested far too much time to walk away. At any point, leaving would have required immense courage—to step off the clearly defined path that everyone, including myself, expected me to follow. My identity was firmly tied to that path as well ("I am a doctor").


Ironically, it was coaching—offered by the very hospital I worked at—that helped me realise the life I was living had little in common with the life I truly wanted. I had been clinging to a career that drained me, made me unhappy, and left me dissatisfied. I never stopped to question how different my life could be. But when I finally walked away, it felt as though a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I felt tremendous relief and freedom.


If you’re facing a similar dilemma, read on to learn more about the power of quitting and when it might be the right choice for you.






The Myth of “Winners Never Quit”


You’ve probably heard the phrase: “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” Society often equates quitting with failure, a sign of weakness or giving up too soon. But what if quitting was actually a skill—one that the most successful and fulfilled people have mastered?


Whether in business, medicine, or personal life, the happiest and most successful individuals know when to walk away from something that no longer serves them. Quitting strategically isn’t about giving up; it’s about cutting your losses and creating space for better opportunities.


Here are five key signs it may be time to quit:


  1. You’re Stuck in the Sunk Cost Fallacy

We often stay in a job, relationship, or project because we’ve already invested so much—whether in time, effort, money, or heartache. This is the sunk cost fallacy at play: the mistaken belief that past investment should dictate future decisions.


🔎 Ask yourself: “If I were starting fresh today, would I choose this?” If the answer is no, it might be time to reevaluate.



  1. Your Values and Goals Have Changed

As we grow, our priorities evolve. A career or relationship that once fulfilled you may no longer align with the person you’re becoming. Ignoring this can create cognitive dissonance—that uncomfortable tension between what you do and what you truly believe.


🔎 Ask yourself: “Does this align with who I am becoming?”



  1. You Are Experiencing Chronic Stress and Exhaustion

Some stress is normal, but when exhaustion, frustration, and dread become the norm, it is a red flag. Research shows that prolonged stress leads to elevated cortisol levels, which can impair decision-making, emotional regulation, and physical health. In this case, stepping away isn’t quitting—it is self-preservation.


🔎 Ask yourself: “Is this situation growing me or draining me?”



  1. The Opportunity Cost Is Too High

Every decision comes with an opportunity cost—the unseen price of choosing one path over another. What are you missing out on by staying in an unfulfilling situation? Often, we fear the unknown more than staying stuck. But quitting frees up energy for something better.


🔎 Ask yourself: “If I let this go, what new doors could open?”



  1. You Keep Thinking About Quitting

If you constantly think about quitting, it’s a sign something is off. Your gut instinct is powerful—don’t ignore it but gather data to support a smart decision . Often, our subconscious knows the answer before we consciously admit it.


🔎 Ask yourself: “If a friend came to me with this dilemma, what advice would I give them?”



Quitting Is a Skill—Not a Weakness


The most successful and fulfilled people don’t just persevere—they also know when to stop. Whether it’s a job, a career shift, a move to a new country, or reassessing your priorities, knowing when to quit is essential for long-term success and happiness.




From my own experience, I know how tough these decisions can be. If you’re struggling with a big choice, talk it through with a trusted friend or mentor. Journalling can be a very too. Sometimes, just voicing your thoughts aloud or putting them on paper can bring more clarity.


If you feel stuck and want professional support, coaching is an invaluable tool for reflection and decision-making.


👉 I’d love to help! Book a free 15-minute discovery call today to see if coaching is right for you (no strings attached).


Have you ever made a tough decision to quit? What was the outcome? Or is there something in your life you feel you should quit but haven’t? Share your thoughts in the comments!





 
 
 

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© 2025 by Dr. Ute Swanson, M.D. Ph.D.

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